Malaysian Canteen

Some old friends visited London recently, and suggested a trip to Malaysian Canteen in Bayswater. Hidden away in a basement under the Malaysian Embassy, it's easy to miss if you're not paying attention. So, pay attention and keep your eyes open if you're intent on heading there! 

Like its name suggests, the Malaysian Canteen serves up Malaysian dishes, canteen-style - no surprises here! There's a long counter at the back piled high, buffet-style with all sorts of dishes. The back wall is plastered with A4-sized photos and names of dishes. The rest of the space is taken up with tables covered in a red gingham printed plastic, and lots of customers (we did visit during lunch, after all). 

 Nasi lemak with beef rendang.

We had the nasi lemak with a side of beef rendang, but there are other curries you can choose too. Or fried fish. Or fried chicken. Or a fried egg. The nasi lemak came with a portion of fried ikan bilis and peanuts, some sliced cucumbers and half a hardboiled egg. The nasi lemak and rendang were alright, in that it tasted pretty similar to what I've eaten in the past in Singapore and Malaysia. I don't think I would make go all the way to Bayswater just for it. The ikan bilis, on the other hand I could have done with more of - it's crunchy and ever so moreish and I found myself craving more after I left. Guess I'll just have to try and make it myself then. 

 Asam laksa

Now, asam laksa is a different breed of beast to what I refer to as 'regular' laksa - that is, the curry based type - so I was expecting it to look something like this when we got it. What was unexpected though, was the taste. It just wasn't that great - the flaked fish in it tasted canned, and the vermicelli was so soft it pretty much disintegrated when I picked it up with my fork. We resorted to scooping up the broken vermicelli with our spoons. The others thought the soup was too sour, but I quite like sourness, so that part was alright with me, but I definitely won't be ordering this again. 

 Lakna

The choice of lakna was a pure shot in the dark - we thought it was a mispelling of laksa when we first saw it on the menu, but when it kept popping up all over the menu, we realised that it must be a dish in its own right. So we asked for it, and this arrived. It turned out to be rice noodles in a tomato-based sauced, with a fried egg on top. Simple and almost studenty but surprisingly tasty. 

By the way, I still have no idea what lakna actually is - I've been to Malaysia several times, but don't recall any dish with that name, and I've never heard any Malaysian I know speak of it. Can anyone shed some light on this for me, please?

 Nasi goreng

The nasi goreng was served with more of that delicious ikan bilis and more sliced cucumbers on the side too. Like the nasi lemak, it was alright, but not particularly wonderful. I remember enjoying it at that time, but I was really hungry. It was also a little too on the salty side for all of us, in fact, most of the dishes were. We had to wash it down with plenty of bandung, but that's fine by me because I love bandung. In fact, I forgot how much I love it until this trip to Malaysian Canteen - I might have to pop by the Asian supermarket down the hill to get myself a bottle of rose cordial so I can have homemade bandung all the time. 

Kueh dadar and nyonya kuih lapis

The four of us were pretty stuffed by this point, so only opted to share these two little pieces of kueh. The kueh dadar was moist and coconuty on the inside, and not toothachingly sweet, which I like, but the pancake outside was just a little too dry. I'd still eat it again if I was there though. I was told the kueh lapis tasted like 'solid bandung', but can't confirm it as I only really had a tiny little bit.

Oh, another thing - we were told only Malaysians are allowed to eat here, but I went with an Indonesian and two Singaporeans, and we didn't get kicked out or anything. It probably helped that we could speak and understand Malay when ordering, but everyone working there seemed really nice and helpful, so I don't think you'd need to worry too much if you don't. 

Malaysian Canteen

30-34 Queensborough Terrace

Bayswater

W2 3ST

Hoa Viet (Or Hindsight Is Often 20/20)

On hindsight, the fact that 75% of the menu was dedicated to Chinese takeaway standards should have tipped me off, but I guess my hunger over-ruled my (gut) instincts...

Now, I'm not an expert on Vietnamese food, but I've eaten plenty of it over the years, and I've eaten enough food to form an opinion on what I think constitutes good food. And our dinner at Hoa Viet in Camberwell certainly wasn't.

Feeling flush with the takings from my stall on Saturday (thank you Christmas shoppers!), I insisted on taking the Mancreature to dinner on Sunday night. He decided it might be a good night to try the food at Hoa Viet, a sparsely laid out Vietnamese place we'd often passed by on the way to Morley's (fried chicken and ribs, more on that next time). They have tinted windows out front, which always gave me the impression that it was dimly-lit inside, so I was fairly pleasantly surprised to be confronted by bright fluorescent lighting when we entered. I like seeing what I'm eating, and it helps with photography.

Upon perusing the laminated menu, though, I was shocked to see a large portion of Chinese takeaway dishes (lemon chicken, various sweet and sour meat dishes) taking up a substantial portion of the menu, with the Vietnamese portion relegated to the last 2 pages. Hidden, if you will. The ubiquitous summer rolls (vermicelli, prawn and pork bits wrapped up in rice paper with a dipping sauce) weren't even on the menu. Right...okay, your sign says 'Authentic Vietnamese Cuisine' and yet you haven't even got summer rolls?

Things weren't looking too good when the waitress came over to take our orders, and seemed confused by what was on the menu. A few looks of puzzlement were exchanged between us before we managed to get our choices across. The Mancreature and I split three starters - banh xeo, the aforementioned summer rolls, and some dumplings. We also ended up ordering two bowls of pho - I asked the Mancreature if he wanted to  share a bowl and he claimed he'd be able to finish everything.

I didn't get a picture of the dumplings, so just believe me when I tell you that they looked like any other pan-fried dumplings. Basically just pork bits wrapped in a slightly stodgy, thick dough wrapper. The innards were fairly dry, without tasty porky juices oozing out when we bit into them. I also didn't detect the presence of any vegetal matter, which I like in a dumpling as it helps provide a bit of crunch.

The banh xeo (rice flour pancakey thing with stirfried prawn, chicken and veggies) was the second dish to arrive, and I hesitated for a bit before biting into it. The few times I've had banh xeo, the dish usually comes with a dipping bowl of sauce (usually fish sauce, sugar and water) on the side. I though the waitress had simply forgotten to carry it with her this time, and so waited for a bit, but she didn't seem very forthcoming with sauces, and we weren't sure if that was how they served it there, so we just left it at that. (Can someone tell me if it's usual to have a dipping sauce with banh xeo? I've always been served one whenever I've had it, but maybe it's a regional thing? I don't know!)

Although the bright orange shade of the pancake was fairly shocking (how did they get it so orange? Turmeric? Curry powder? There wasn't much discernible flavour) the stir-fried bean sprouts, prawns and chicken stuffed into were nicely seasoned and had a good, fresh factor to it.

It was a little greasy, but the fresh lettuce leaves and pickled salad on the side helped cut the grease immensely. The best (and messiest, at least in my case) method of eating it was to break apart a chunk of the pancake and stuff it into the lettuce leaf, with a forkful of the pickled salad on top of it all.

Next up were the summer rolls. They're one of my favourite dishes, and I've been known to eat a helping of eight fat ones for lunch. And it's safe to say that these two measly rolls we were served were the WORST ones I've had. Not that they tasted really bad or anything. They were just very...meh - the rice paper wrapper was slightly dried out, and the fillings were simply anaemic. Even the dipping sauce didn't taste like much - I think it was hoisin with a blob of hot chilli sauce, possibly Sriracha as there were bottles dotted around on the tables, although all we could taste was hoisin. Blah!

Lastly, our much-anticipated bowls of pho. The wind that night had been bitingly chilly, and I was looking forward to a steamy bowl of pho to warm me up. It looked promising enough - thick, greasy broth covering a generous helping of rice noodles, with finely sliced beef - still slightly pink - perching on the noodle mountain and swimming around in broth.

Our waitress also put a plate of garnishes down, which again led me to utter an inward sigh - the plate contained only bean sprouts, and two lemon wedges. Where were the other garnishes - the fragrant basil, sprigs of mint, freshly cut onions? It was unlikely that they had run out, after all, it was fairly early in the evening, and the restaurant hadn't been very busy or full when we arrived.

Another factor that added to my irritation about the whole evening was that just as I was about to tuck into the pho, a pink-haired alterna-wannabe strutted in with her old pseudo-hippy parents. She then loudly announced to the waitress in such a loud voice that everyone in the place (which by this time was fairly noisy) could hear her, that she couldn't eat gluten, and then went through the whole menu for at least 10 minutes talking about other things she couldn't eat. Her voice was so loud the whole time we were in there that I almost went to punch her in her stupid head. I didn't, because she told her parents (and the whole restaurant) her new address, down to the postcode, and it's near where I live, so I'm just going to go by and drop off a little flaming bag of turd. Isn't it fun having such intense hatred for a stranger?

Anyway, after that talk about flaming turds, let's get back to the food. As I often do, the first thing I did was try the noodles. I think it's because that always takes up so much space, so I want to find out if it's any good because I move on to the other ingredients. These rice noodles were, frankly, pathetic (almost as pathetic as you, alterna-tryhard that I'm pretty sure is studying at the art school nearby). Limp, grey, stodgy - they just didn't have the delightful sproingy texture of most rice noodles. They tasted like they'd just been sitting in warm water for ages. The broth was also rather flavourless, though it did warm me up. The Mancreature and I ended up just finishing up the beef, although he gave up on his dish before I did, even though he was the one who'd decided that he could devour a whole bowl of pho on his own.

So, although it did warm me up, the meal left me rather disappointed, as I don't like wasting stomach space on medicore food. I didn't leave them a tip, haha!

Hoa Viet
42 Camberwell Church St
SE5 8QZ

Silk Road Restaurant and Breakfast

Last Sunday, the Mancreature and I decided to emerge from our lair and visit one of our favourite eating places - Silk Road Restaurant. While it's only about 15 minutes down the road in Camberwell Green, the distance can seem a lot longer on days when the sun sets at about 4pm and it's so cold that I want to shower with all my clothes on.

But I'm glad I persuaded the Mancreature to trek down the hill with me (threatening to punch him in the tender bits may have helped). Unlike most 'Chinese' restaurants around, Silk Road serves food from Xinjiang - that large area on the Northwestern side of China that largely consists of deserts and mountains. Most people may have heard about Xinjiang because of the riots in Urumqi a few months back, but there's much more to the region than ethnic unrest. Think awesome hats, large, sprawling markets, and crazy spicy food that makes your heart race like you've been running for the bus (that's about as much exercise as I get). And cold weather + spicy food = happy me!

The restaurant itself has had a bit of a makeover since we first starting going there. The walls are now lavender, and the lighting seems to have improved, even if the garish woven wallhangings and blaring techno-pop are still going strong (although, the last time we went, they were playing an awesome selection of 70's and 80's punk - I think it must have been the boss' day off).

Although the menu is only about 4 pages long, the Mancreature and I took about 10 minutes before we decided on our orders - not because there's nothing interesting in it, but because we wanted to order pretty much everything, and it's impossible to ingest so much with only 2 stomaches. So we settled on only 4 dishes. We had a plate of spicy kelp as a starter - long, noodly strands of slightly chilled, slimy, green seaweed doused in loads of spicy chilli and garlic sauce. It's probably my favourite thing on their menu, and I think I could eat a whole plate of it myself, even though the crazy hot sauce makes my brain sweat.

And then we went slightly crazy and ordered two plates of dumplings, and a plate of noodles. It doesn't sound like much, but there are 10 dumplings in each serving. 20 little nuggets of dough stuffed with stuff!

This little nuggets of joy were the egg, leek and shrimp dumplings, which - while not very shrimpy - are bursting with bright green vegetal matter and little gobbins of egg. The dumpling dough is probably a little firmer and thicker than the ones you get in other Chinese restaurants, but it serves a purpose by holding all the juices inside the dumpling. Dip them into the hot chilli oil and black vinegar provided on the side, and you could find yourself gobbling up a whole plate in mere minutes.

These are the beef and onion dumplings - pretty much like the other ones, but brown and with beef, instead of green. While I like these too, I think I much prefer the veggies ones as they're much easier to chow down. I find that the density of the skin, coupled with the meat, tends to make this a much 'heavier' dumpling, and I find myself struggling after two or three of them. I don't want to struggle, I want to mindlessly shove food down my maw!

And then there's this - a large (GIANT, bigger than my freaking head!) plate of handpulled noodles, served with generous slices of lamb, assorted vegetable stuff, and of course, doused in loads of spicy sauce. I've had plenty of 'authentic' versions of this dish, mostly cooked by stoic Uighur men in all-night bus stations circling the Taklamakan, and this one from the Silk Road beats many of those hands downs. Afterall, 'authentic' doesn't necessarily equate to 'tasty' (a full English from the local greasy spoon may be authentic, but is it always tasty?). For one, this version is a lot less 'drenched in pools of grease', which means you're not wading through spicy oil to get to the flavour. And the strips of lamb aren't covered in inches of cumin, they're just good, fresh strips of lamb.

The handpulled noodles, too, are cooked so the texture is just-right - you don't spend ages chewing on them, and they pick up lots of flavour from the slightly tomatoey sauce. Shit, I've written a lot of words for only four dishes, when all I really wanted to say was - Silk Road Restaurant, tasty!

I think I mentioned that it's been pretty chilly over here lately, and our heating's been broken, so all I've wanted to do every morning after waking up, is to eat warm stuff. But I hate porridge (it looks like spew and it reminds me of primary school), and I'm too lazy to cook up bacon and eggs every morning. Instead, I've been cutting up apples (and peaches, when I can find some) and cooking them for about 10 mins, in a saucepan with cinnamon and sugar, before pouring them over vanilla yoghurt and throwing a handful of flaked almonds on top. So tasty, and so easy, and it's done by the time my coffee is ready.

Silk Road Restaurant
49 Camberwell Church Street
SE5 8TR

Pink Salad

My back hurts like a kicked testicle today (damned mattress!). So much so that I couldn't even do any stretches this morning, and had to perform some 'interesting' acrobatics to get my shorts on. So I made myself a pink salad for lunch to cheer myself up.

Rice vermicelli, cubed beetroot, cubed fishsticks, seasoned with a dash of soy sauce and sesame oil, with a small handful of sesame seeds.

The beetroot turned the white rice vermicelli a pale shade of pink.

Curlypoppet

I woke up super-excited this morning. It was beautifully clear and sunny. And best of all - my Curlypoppet will be arriving in London tonight and we'll get to have international Bike Gang and Pony Club times for the next few days!

Despite all my good intentions though, apathy soon set in during breakfast. I blame it all on last night's dinner.

All that food that you see there was just for the two of us. What you don't see, is the other plate of ten huge dumplings that we'd already wolfed down. Really, who needs 20 dumplings, a huge bowl of noodles with soup, and another huge plate of noodles?
Tasty though. But it did make me want to throw up a little on the way home just so I didn't feel so completely filled up. Throwing up would probably have been an excellent idea though. I'm ashamed to say I couldn't finish my plate of Xinjiang noodles with soup so I had to take the rest of it home. But at least I got to relive the tastiness all over again.
I've been to that restaurant (which I'm pretty sure is just called 'Xinjiang Chinese Restaurant') twice now, and both times, I can't believe how they're just not completely packed out. It's one of the tastiest (and cheapest) places I've found so far, and the food's pretty damnned authentic, except for not being totally covered in a thick layer of grease like in most Central Asian truck-stops. Maybe that's a good thing - it means I'll always be guranteed a spot straightaway without having to wait or share a table.

Sorry about the lack of knitting postage today. I'm just too apathetic. I'm just going to lie down in my pink leopard-print dressing gown now...