Queenie and Ted

Queenie and Ted are lovely ladies who create unique upcycled, customised jackets. As of yesterday, they also became proper shopowners with the opening of their little shop at Columbia Road. 

All very nice, but what does any of this have to do with me? Well, I met them while we were neighbours at a rather pathetic craft fair last December, and they decided they like some of my stuff enough to place in their shop!

I went to the shop last Sunday to deliver my pouches and rings, but since Queenie and Ted (or Linda and Kally) had just received their keys that very day, it was just an empty space with nice white floorboards. It was fantastic seeing that space transformed into a lovely cosy shop in the course of only a week. 

These are the little pouches I've got in their shop - the outsides are made of layers of plastic bags fused together to form a sturdy, waterproof fabric. They're big enough to hold cards, money, or a small digital camera or mobile phone. I've also got some crocheted rings in stock there, but they were displayed in a cupboard and I didn't think of taking a picture until I'd left. Oh well...

That's Kally in the middle, with that wonderful curly hair. Linda is somewhere behind her, I think.  Visit them if you're in the area!

Queenie and Ted
144a Columbia Road
E2 7RG

Saturdays 11am - 6pm
Sundays 9am - 3pm

Best Price

Warning, gentle readers - This post will most likely turn out to be a massive rant which includes the kind of swearing a Russian stevedore would blush at. It may or may not also include jibes at Barbour jackets, tourists, overpriced coffee and of course, Uggs. Look away NOW if you think you'll be offended. 

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Things around here have been fairly hectic recently, which is why I haven't posted much. I've had a semi-permanent spot at the Tea Rooms since the end of October, and I enjoy being there a lot more than most of the other craft fairs I've done this year, so it is fairly likely I will return there next year.

However, the one thing that puts a damper on it, are the customers. Well, the non-customers, actually. What really pisses me off is that fact that, because the Tea Rooms is billed as a 'Brick Lane market', the people who shop there often expect ridiculous discounts, or just want things for stupidly cheap prices. I've tried to grow a thick skin and just brush it all off, but a couple of experiences this past Sunday really got to me, and I figure if I let it all out into the interwubs, then I can let go of my rage and behave in a civilised manner next weekend. 

Anyway, incident one - Home Counties* family look at a shawl I have on sale (but not SALE!) for £10. I'm hiding behind my display stand, keeping a surreptitious eye/ ear on them. Teenage daughter is trying on the shawl, tying it various ways. I don't expect them to actually buy it, because, let's face it, they're just here for the 'Brick Lane Experience'. Then, I heard Daddy saying to darling daughter 'Ask her what her best price is, go on, ask her what her best price is'. 

Seriously, What. The. Fuck?! My best price is a fucking knuckle sandwich to your teeth, how about that? I'll throw in a set of knuckle-dusters to the groin for free! 

Darling daughter ended up deciding against the shawl, which left me both relieved and disappointed. Relieved, because I didn't have to yell in public, and disappointed, because I wanted to tell them that my 'best price' was the price on the tag, no more, definitely no less.

They then proceeded to browse the stall across from me, Daddy picked up a globe costing £8, and of course, used his favourite pick-up line on the stallowner. He, of course, has been dealing with these idiots for a lot longer, and told Daddy in bored manner '£5'. That's a huge percentage off, and you'd think Daddy would be pleased with that. Guess what happened? 

'How about £4 for it instead?'

How about a bull crushes your two Land Rovers and shits all over your Barbour jackets instead, darling Daddy?

*Barbour jackets (on both Mummy and Daddy), public school accent, puffy hair, puffed out chest, general smug demeanour. 

Incident two - similar incidents have occurred before, but, this just joined forces with everything else to help turn the day into a huge turdball.

Two tourists - short shiny plastic jackets, huge-arse cameras (possibly more on that later), hyena giggle. They look around at my display, spy the Cat Power! postcards, and shriek 'Ohhmygodthisissonice!' Which of course pleases me, because I am vain and neurotic and constantly seek the approval of others. Why the fuck do you think I have this blog?

So, you'd think the fact they said 'Ohhmygodthisissonice!' is a good sign, which will lead to them buying the card and paying me with cash money for a card with a cute kitty and rainbows on it, right? You're so innocent. 

Hyena girls: 'How much is this card?'

Me (aka dark mass of seething hatred for humanity, but still with a smile on my face): 'They're £1 each.'

Hyena girls (faces fall, eyebrows rise): 'Oh' (puts card down, exit stage left).

Why does this piss me off? Because the same thing happens so often - like card, exclaim loudly, ask price, don't want to buy card anymore.

Dudes, I know £1 for a postcard is about 70 pence more than a postcard of the London Eye, and I'm not about forcing people to buy my shit (I don't even like trying to make small talk with potential customers cos I always think they'll think I'm just trying to sell them stuff. It's also why I prefer to hide behind a huge stand instead of standing in front of my stall). BUT, you obviously like it, and I know because you said to your friend 'I really like this card' or 'Ohhmygodthisissonice!' or something else very similar, with some variations. 

But come on, out of all the money you spent at Brick Lane that day, my postcard isn't worth £1 to you? How much do you expect it for? 10p? Free? It costs me about 70p to produce each one, and after paying rent on my stall and bus fares and everything else, it's not like I'm even making any sort of profit from these cards. I'm just wanna get some fucking rainbow cats out there!

Now, I know that most people associate 'buying things from a market' with 'having to haggle for the best price', probably because some guidebooks told them to. But, the Tea Rooms is quite obviously NOT a flea market/ car boot sale situation. There's quite a bit of rent to pay, plus we have to spend hours making and/or searching for the items we sell, then cleaning them, often researching their history, and ferrying them to and from the stall. Even if we do make any sort of profit at the end of a weekend, it may simply mean we're making 50p an hour. That's waaaaaayy lower than minimum wage. 

So if we ask you for £10 for that framed print, it's not like we're trying to rip you off. We're just trying to make the rent, and be able to keep doing this next week so you can gawk and bring your huge cameras here to capture some of that exciting (but not really) 'Brick Lane Atmosphere'. Will that measly £2 you've saved by haggling with us change your life in any way? Will you give it to charity, or even one of the homeless guys shambling around asking for change?

Another thing - I wonder if Home Counties Daddy dares ask the checkout chick at Waitrose what her 'best price' is when paying for his weekly groceries. Does his daughter go to H&M, pick up a blouse priced at £12.99, and then tells them she only wants to pay £7 for it? Somehow, I suspect they don't, because that would be so declassé of them. Obviously, we're not 'proper' shops though, and therefore our prices don't deserve any sort of respect. I wonder if they ask the manager at their local Barbour outlet (is there such a thing as a Barbour outlet?)  for a discount? 

If you're going to say 'But the customer is always right', then don't say it to me, because lucky you, it's very likely you've been fortunate enough never to have been on the retail front-line. If however, you want to send me stories of stupid/annoying customers you've encountered, then I'd love to hear them. Okay, rant ends, now. Thanks for putting up with this incoherent stream of rage, but I do feel slightly better now. 

Meeting Miwa

You may remember me mentioning my 'partnership' with Miwa at recent craft fairs and markets, so I thought I'd better spend some time talking about her.

We met about a year ago when we both had stalls at the now sadly defunct A Little Bazaar market days in the Keston Lodge, but only started speaking to each other when we started bumping into each other at other markets around London. Anyway, long story short, we decided to start partnering up for various market days, and it's been so much more fun since! 

Here's Miwa working on one of her knitted necklaces.

She makes brilliant items such as little, but very detailed teddy bear brooches, yo-yo doilies, patchwork skirts, knitted necklaces and flowery headbands. If you'd like to see what else she's up to, just pop on over to her Etsy shop Miwary, or check out her blog - Miwary is Seamstress.

Crafternoon!

Anyone gonna be hanging out around King's Cross this Sunday? If so, please come along to the Calthorpe Project on Gray's Inn Road for A Summer's Crafternoon. 

Of Cabbages And Kings

More markets are coming up this weekend - I'll be spending Saturday and Sunday at the Of Cabbages and Kings monthly markets. They'll be held at Abney Hall, smack in the middle of Stoke Newington. It'll be my first time with them, and I've heard good things about it, so, fingers crossed it'll all go well. 

Miwa and I will be sharing a stall again this weekend. It's turning out to be a pretty good partnership so far - we shared both our stalls last weekend and made a bundle! Plus, sharing means we don't have to pay as much for a single stall, so more profit all round! The Little London Fields Festival last Saturday had a huge turnout, and I'm so glad the sun came out for a few hours too. I was really dreading having to set up in a muddy field.

Anyway, if you're thinking of getting a stall of your own at a market or fair, but are hesitant about the costs involved, I highly recommend looking for a likeminded someone and doing the sharing thing. Plus, you get someone else to talk to during quiet periods, and you can bitch about unpleasant customers to each other!

These headbands (as well as some others) will also be up for sale tomorrow. I'm keen to take orders for custom sizes, especially for the turban-style headbands (first photo), so get in touch by email or in person if you'd like one. I reckon they're great for winter...keep your ears warm and all.

Alright, I'm off to sew up more bloomers. They were a bit of a surprise hit last weekend, and I sold out of nearly all of them!

Who Wears Short Shorts

I seem to get stuck in little obsessive phases sometimes, when I'm constantly making the same things, or variations on similar patterns. Recently, I've been churning out heaps of short shorts, mostly bloomer-style ones, but also a couple of sexy PE-style shorts. I think the bloomers are great for wearing under dresses, so they cover up your magic bits while you're frolicking around or doing a couple of rolly-pollys in the park. They also make a great (and much less sweaty) alternative to bike shorts - it's a shame my BMX isn't in rideable condition these days. 

Anyway, they'll be coming with me to the Little London Fields Festival tomorrow, and then to the Vibe Bar in Brick Lane on Sunday. Do come along if you're in the area - I'll be sharing a stall on both days with sweet Miwa.

Tik Tac Toe

August is turning out to be an unexpectedly busy month! I've somehow managed to book myself in to 6 markets days in four weeks in August, so I foresee a lot of running around, and lots more wear and tear on my poor old Oyster card. 

Anyway, my first market day this month will be at Tik Tac Toe - it's moved over to the Lock Tavern in Camden this time, and they're teaming up with Etsy for bingo and prizes! The other stall holders all have Etsy shops too, and Etsy very kindly did a blog post on it last week. 

I'm quite excited to check out the goodies by the other stallholders, especially Heartzeena and LostatSea. In fact, I've got a feeling I may be spending more money than I'll earn. If you're around Camden this Sunday, do pop on over to the Lock Tavern for music, markets and mmm...cupcakes. 

A Jumble Of Cakes

More food photos! I just wanted to show off some off the cakes Yusuf and I ended up making for the Jumble Sale last Sunday. It was a lot of work, but I think it was worth it in the end, we ended up making quite a bundle of money (1 million dollars!). There were quite a few cupcakes left over at the end of the day though, so I went around and gave it away to the other stallholders. 

On the way home, I started chatting to a lady on the bus, and told her I was giving the cupcakes away at the end of the day because I didn't want to carry them home. Her -totally unasked for advice - was that I should have given them to a pub, instead of to the other stallholders, because it wasn't 'a good business plan'. Errr...shut up! They're my cakes and I'll give them to who I want, and certainly not to a hipster pub so they can make money off my hard work!

We didn't just have cakes, we had biscuits and truffles too. Yusuf had a really tasty, moist orange and almond cake, and I'm going to have to pry the recipe out of him when I see him next. 

Jumble Sale

Alright, listen up, Londoners (or those in London over the weekend)! Artquest are holding their annual jumble sale this Sunday at The Rag Factory off Brick Lane, so make your way out East if you're looking to get your filthy mitts on some goodies. 

Fellow Bake Club member Yusuf and I have got two stalls there. (Yeah, I started a baking club, because I am soooo cool. Deal with it!) We'll be selling heaps of fantastic homemade cakes, biscuits and possibly truffles, and also a bunch of our old stuff - clothes, CDs, badges, knitting/sewing supplies. It's a sorta fundraising event for visual artists and crafters, so your money will go towards helping starving artists buy another pint of beer and a pack of fags. It's all for a good cause!

So, please come along if you're looking for a fun day out, or if you'd like to judge the quality of my baking skillzzz for yourself. I'll try not to poison you (unless you're an idiot, of course). Click over here for the map if you want to find out how to get there. 

Animal House

Ever get the feeling you live in a zoo? Well, it seems like my flat's turned into one recently.

Pair of owls (in the shop now).

Pyramid of tardigrades (also in the shop now. Click here to straight to the listing.)

Lovestruck giraffes. Not yet in the shop, but they might be making an appearance at a craft fair in August. 

A rather curmudgeonly narwhal. Should he be in the shop?

A baby unicorn. This one's all mine, it's going nowhere!

Weekending

Featuring - homemade cottage pie, Justice Yeldham, patches of sunlight, and the Horniman Museum (I dare you to say 'Horniman' without sniggering. Ok, maybe I'm the only one here with the mind of a 13 year old.)

Nom nom nom - I make food

Glass and guts from Justice



Stuff on my table at A Little Bazaar.

Views from the Horniman (sorry, I just wanted to use that name again.)

Conservatory roof

Horsey

Stuffed scarlet ibises. So much prettier than the black and white ibises roaming around in Sydney.

Autumn is upon us.

The Man Creature made me this and I shall treasure it forever (until he pisses me off and I decide to crush it to dust.)

Pink - the best colour for a bandstand.

~Fin~

RoundLondon Gives You Spots

Most of last week was spent hunched over piles of fabric, needle in hand, sewing up new aprons and headpieces in preparation for RoundLondon Gives You Spots at the Queen of Hoxton. And was getting pricked by needles hundreds of times worth it in the end? Well, not really.

While it did encourage me to get off my arse and make tons of new stuff, I really only ended up selling four cards and a couple of brooches during the day itself. And half of that was bought by my dear friend Haryo. The pub was otherwise deathly quiet (well, it wasn't actually quiet as there was a DJ there pounding out music the whole time) - at times, it seemed like there were more people manning the stalls then there were customers.

I'm not blaming the organisers at all, I think they actually did a great job organising and promoting everything. However, being in the Queen of Hoxton for more than seven hours reminded me of why I dislike hanging out in Hoxton in the first place. It's constantly frequented by painfully 'cool', cliquey hipsters who think they're perfectly original and ironic and too beautiful to smile. It's like being back at school all over again, and I hated school the first time.
You guessed it - I was a library geek back in the day. And I loved it.

Anyway, there's nothing original or ironic about dying your hair like Cindy Lauper or wearing a clashing, oversized jumper and skinny jeans. It's all been done before, and much better, by others. Oh, and by the way, 'ironic' doesn't mean what Alanis Morrisette thinks it means. Whew, look who's a ranty-tanty pants today! Sorry about that kids, it's just I always feel so annoyed when I hang around hipsters for any amount of time that I end up wanting to kick things.

Well, let's just look at the pictures, shall we?

I ended up spending most of my takings on these shoes from Rag and Bow.

New headpieces that will be going into the Etsy shop.

The stairwells at the Queen of Hoxton are filled with awesome drawings. This is one of my favourites. It's by Gemma...something. Sorry, I forgot.

End of a long, tiring, hungry day

Deptford Project Market

Last Saturday was my first time at the Deptford Project Markets, and it was great! Mainly because I got a free waffle, with heaps of chocolate and ice cream. But I had loads of fun there too, and even managed to make a bit of money, despite it being a fairly quiet day there.

As well as having a cafe and various stalls in the venue, the Deptford Project also featured a sandpit with summery, stripey deckchairs, buckets and spades. For all your sandcastle construction needs!

Waffle Stop - who very generously fed me with their delicious waffles.

My bored, unpaid intern.

Mama G!

The stall next to mine belonged to the awesome Mama G, who kept me entertained during the quiet parts of the day with her jokes and singing. She also makes the tastiest jams, chillies and breads, which I got to sample. The wasps were fans of her stuff too, as they kept hovering over the plates of jams and chillies she had put out for tasting. Do check her out if you can, she makes everything herself!

My display

I finally got to use the awesome old leather suitcase I found downstairs as part of my display. It's almost like Mary Poppins' magical bag because it holds so much and I keep filling it with stuff and the Mancreature's arms end up almost falling off because it's so heavy.

For those of you who are in London, I will be at the RoundLondon Gives You Spots event in the Queen of Hoxton this Saturday, with a load of pretty new aprons and headpieces. There will also be a raffle on so you'll be able to win some fantastic items. Hope to see some of you there!